{"id":404,"date":"2020-05-24T11:51:31","date_gmt":"2020-05-24T11:51:31","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/gaintrial.com\/en\/?p=404"},"modified":"2020-05-17T11:56:03","modified_gmt":"2020-05-17T11:56:03","slug":"how-often-should-couples-have-sex","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/gaintrial.com\/en\/how-often-should-couples-have-sex\/","title":{"rendered":"How Often Should Couples Have Sex?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

It is natural for couples to wonder whether they have enough sex as compared to other couples. Sex therapists have often been questioned about what is the true average for couples who are in committed relationships.[1]<\/strong><\/a><\/strong> <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

The truth is that there is no\none fixed answer. The range of answers to this question can vary from once a\nweek to once a month. There is no right answer that you have to accept as a\nmeasurement for your <\/strong>sex life<\/strong><\/a>. <\/strong>A study in the Archives of\nSexual Behavior has shown that Americans today are having less sex than they\ndid a decade ago. However, that does not help in narrowing down the trends to\none number.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Couples should have sex as\noften as they can, given their schedules. This is because the lack of sex\ncan often lead to bigger problems.[2]<\/strong><\/a>\n<\/strong>If couples stop having sex completely, they become prone to anger,\ninfidelity and detachment. These problems can even lead to divorce if left\nunattended.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Understanding How Difference Factors can Influence It<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

There can be no standard\nmeasure for a couple’s sex life because it is influenced by many different\nfactors that differ from couple to couple.<\/strong> Parameters such as lifestyle, age,\nhealth and natural libido and the quality of each individual relationship can\ndetermine how often the couple has sex. Moreover, according to Brian Jory, PhD,\nall long term relationships have ‘sexual satiation’ set in after two or three\nyears. Sexual satiation leads couples to become bored of their existing life\nbecause of the monotony. <\/strong>It is a natural occurrence and should not be stigmatized.[3]<\/a> <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Couples should have sex at\nleast once a week. As mentioned before, there is no right answer and it is not\na compulsion, but the routine helps the situation to be in control. David\nSchnarch, PhD, found that just 26% of couples engaged in sex once a week via a\nstudy that he conducted with over 20,000 couples. The majority of them were\nhaving sex once or twice every month. Worse, some were not participating in any\nsexual activity at all.<\/strong> [4]<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

A study that was published in\nThe University of Chicago Press a decade ago reported that married couples were\nengaging in sex about twice a week. Another study found that the older\nparticipants had sex 2 to 3 times a month, while younger couples did it about\nonce a week.<\/strong> This proves that Americans are indeed having lesser sex now as\ncompared to then.[5]<\/a>\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Do you have anything to worry about?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are going through a\ndry patch as a couple, it is natural to worry whether your marriage is in\ntrouble.<\/strong>\nHowever, you should not be hasty when drawing conclusions because this is a\nsensitive matter. Sex therapists generally label marriages as sexless when the\ncouple has sex less than 10 times a year. It is important to remember that\nsexless does not equate a marriage on the rocks. Schnarch says that the lack of\nsex is not an indication that your marriage might fall apart. Sex is\ndefinitely one of the primary ways in which couples are able to convey their\nlove and <\/strong>sexual desire<\/strong><\/a> to each other, but the absence\nof it does not negate those feelings.<\/strong> In fact, you can reignite those\nfeelings and emotions in order to bring your sex life back on track. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

While a sexless marriage is\nnot necessarily headed towards divorce, it does not mean that you should leave\nthe problem unattended for long.<\/strong> According to Ian Kerner, Ph.D., sex has fallen low on an\naverage American’s to-do list. He emphasizes that the lack of sex can often\nexpose other cracks in the marriage.[6]<\/a>\nSex is an important element in every marriage because it holds the bond\ntogether even when some other aspect of the relationship is threatened. Kerner\nsays that couples transform into ‘good friends’ or ‘bickering roommates’ when\nthere is a lack of sexual engagement.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

How to be on the same page when it comes to sex?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Each individual’s <\/strong>sex drive<\/strong><\/a> is unique. It requires a\nsignificant amount of effort for two people to sync their sex drives.<\/strong> However, it is not\nimpossible by any means as long as both the partners are willing to give their\nbest shot.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A large number of factors can\nimpact whether a couple wants to have sex at the same time. If there is a\npreexisting difference in opinion, there is a chance that it might affect the\npartner’s willingness to have sex.[7]<\/a> <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sometimes, it is the process\nof initiating sex that poses the problem and not the activity itself. According\nto Dr. Gail Saltz, the solution to bringing the couple’s sex drive back in sync\nis to meet midway and compromise.[8]<\/a>\nBoth partners’ demands do not have to be met right away. Starting slow can lead\nto better results in the near future.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple’s willingness to\nhave sex usually does not line up at a given time in most cases. This is why it\nis important to communicate freely with your partner and negotiate a better\ntime that is suitable for both participants. When one initiates but the\nother refuses, it is important to talk it out then and there instead of letting\nthe matter fester.<\/strong> The frequency of sex is largely dependent on mutual\nagreement. You can schedule a fixed time period each week if you do not want to\nhave this discussion multiple times. However, it is best to keep it as\nflexible as possible because one never known when or how some other work may\ncome up.[9]<\/strong><\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Optimizing Time<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

As it is, housework takes up\nenergy. It can be especially taxing if you have kids and have to take care of\ntheir needs too. Daily tasks often gain precedence over sex.<\/strong> Putting sex on the\nbackburner each time will not lead to a solution. Both partners have to\ndedicate themselves to make sex fun again. Once a couple stops having sex, they\nforget the pleasure they originally derived from it and get stuck in a rut. Once\nthe couple starts having sex again, they remember how much they missed it.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Scheduling sex can be seen as\ncounterintuitive at first, but soon it will become something you look forward\nto. The time leading up to the sex will feel more exciting, and each partner\ncan do their part in boosting intimacy meanwhile. <\/strong>Common practices that can\nfoster love include hugging each other every day and having a one-to-one\nconversation before bed.[10]<\/a>\nExercise can prepare both partners to make the best of any sexual activity. If\nyou do not get to spend a lot of time with each other in a day, avoid\ndistractions like smartphones and televisions when you are together. Make\nsure that your partner knows that they are appreciated.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Summing Up<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

As a couple, you should feel\nfree to tell each other about your problems. Discussing your sex life<\/strong><\/a>, frankly, can be a step\nforward in the right direction.<\/strong> Compliment each other, discuss any shortcomings and talk\nabout new activities that you would like to try in the bedroom. If you feel\nthat nothing is working, then you should take your problems to a professional. Book\nan appointment with a sex therapist and figure out a suitable solution.[11]<\/strong><\/a><\/strong>
<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

[1]<\/a> https:\/\/www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/pmc\/articles\/PMC5882561\/<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

[2]<\/a> Stanford JB, Dunson DB.\nEffects of sexual intercourse patterns in time to pregnancy studies. Am J\nEpidemiol. 2007;165:1088\u201395. [PubMed<\/a>] [Google Scholar<\/a>]<\/p>\n\n\n\n

[3]<\/a> https:\/\/www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/pmc\/articles\/PMC5987853\/<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

[4]<\/a> https:\/\/www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/pmc\/articles\/PMC3807599\/<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

[5]<\/a> Hornsby PP, Wilcox AJ.\nValidity of questionnaire information on frequency of coitus. Am J\nEpidemiol. 1989;130:94\u20139. [PubMed<\/a>] [Google Scholar<\/a>]<\/p>\n\n\n\n

[6]<\/a> https:\/\/www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/pmc\/articles\/PMC3132270\/<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

[7]<\/a> Udry JR, Morris NM.\nRelative contribution of male and female age to the frequency of marital\nintercourse. Soc Biol. 1978;25:128\u201334. [PubMed<\/a>] [Google Scholar<\/a>]<\/p>\n\n\n\n

[8]<\/a> https:\/\/www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/pmc\/articles\/PMC1071438\/<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

[9]<\/a> White JR, Case DA,\nMcWhirter D, Mattison AM. Enhanced sexual behavior in exercising men. Arch\nSex Behav. 1990;19:193\u2013209. [PubMed<\/a>] [Google Scholar<\/a>]<\/p>\n\n\n\n

[10]<\/a> https:\/\/www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/pmc\/articles\/PMC6503462\/<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

[11]<\/a> Bodenmann G, Ledermann T,\nB TN. Stress, sex, and satisfaction in marriage. Personal\nRelationships. 2007;14:551\u201369. [Google Scholar<\/a>]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It is natural for couples to wonder whether they have enough sex as compared to other couples. 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